A Must-See Movie

To whoever hasn't seen the movie, The Shawshank Redemption, you absolutely must. I'm not just saying it because it's the #1 movie of all time on imdb.com. I'm saying it because the movie shows the power of friendship, it makes you feel free and alive, and it inspires hope in even the most desolate and grim of situations. In all seriousness, I can completely understand how this is named one of the greatest movies of all time. To be concise, if you haven't watched it, watch it. It is an experience. If you have watched it, watch it again. It made me smile as much as it did make me cry. If you've just watched it, embrace it. Feel free. Feel alive. And remember that no matter how bad things get, where there is a dream, there is hope.

Russian Roulette: The Review

Many of you know the game called "Roulette." It is a game commonly stationed at casinos in which you bet money on a certain number or color. The Roulette wheel spins and if your number or color is chosen, you win. If not, you lose. The game called "Russian Roulette" is very similar except with bullets and betting with your life. This is what is called a "Real Men's Game" and should be soon followed by the phrase "No Pussies Allowed." For this game, you load one bullet into a revolver which holds 6 bullets. There are 6 people. 5 people live, one person dies. In such bad economic times, it is difficult to say which of the two games is more dangerous for one's well-being.

Last night with a group of friends, we decided to play Russian Roulette. Perhaps not the smartest ideas among teenagers, but the thought occurred to us and we really wanted to play. Luckily, we played with an iPhone, so no one actually died, except for Michael who thought he died and passed out on the couch. Nonetheless, the game was intense. I believe it is fair to say that Nate officially died the fewest times, making him the winner? When you're playing with an iPhone and no actual death, it kind of makes the game pointless, but I would rather have a night of bizarre fun than a dead friend and being a witness to suicide.

In conclusion, I rate the iRevolver application with a solid 5/5. It is a fantastic simulation that makes you feel almost as cool as a guy about to blow his brains out. The only suggestions I have for the creators are that you need to choose which was the gun is facing. Personally, I'd be much more comfortable if I shot myself right-handed. Shooting left-handed just feels awkward and makes me feel fake and pathetic. I think another good addition would be for people who think they are going to die to have "Last Words" and it can either gain them style points if they go out with a badass catchphrase or lose style points if they say something like a tool and live. Overall, iRevolver for iPhone and iPod Touch is entertaining, celebant, and just what YOU need for some hardcore fun.

10 Things I Learned from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

1. It is a choice to be an Autobot or a Decepticon, so I choose to be an Autobot.

2. There can never be too many slow motion boob jiggling shots in a movie, or in a single scene.

3. Megan Fox is really hot.

4. I'm pretty sure the bad guy became a bad guy because he was given the name "The Fallen." If I was a Prime given the name "The Fallen," I'd be pissed, like Mr. Pink in Resevoir Dogs.

5. "The Fallen" must have been created in So Cal because his name has a "The" in it. Fallen makes much more sense for a name.

6. Megan Fox is really hot.

7. If a really hot girl gives you a lapdance at a frat party, she's probably too good to be true.

8. Rail guns are the coolest things ever. If one shot can take out the biggest transformer ever, why isn't this used against: Osama Bin Laden, Kim Jong Ill, & Twitter?

9. Megan Fox is really hot.

10. Despite judgement and hatred towards Michael Bay, I enjoyed the movie for the popcorn action thriller that it was.

The Best Movie Ever Made

I think being a film kid, I can confidently say that I love movies. The quantity of movies I've seen may be somewhat slim, but I have seen enough to understand what makes a movie great and what movies I like. I realize that to make a living in the film industry, you have to be the best at what you do or the most creative. Since I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in film specifically yet, I decided to take the creative route.

I am going to write movies until I know what I want to do. I'm going to keep working on set and all, but writing is something you can do whenever you have time. I've decided I'm going to make the best movie the world's ever seen. And now a list of what is needed in the greatest movie of all time. *ahem*

- Attractive Characters (Thank you, Cheney)
- Explosive and Intellectual Action
- A Mindfuck Ending
- Rewatchability
- Badass Dialogue
- Plenty of Hilarious Humor
- At Least One Ridiculously Hot Chick

I'm off to work. Wish me luck

Father's Day Cards Are the Epitome of Evil

I was shopping for the perfect card for my wonderful dad for Father's Day yesterday only to find a gruesome reminder. I hate Father's Day cards. They are officially the worst cards of any holiday. I think all the people making cards for this Hallmark holiday decided to take their own holiday from intelligence, hiatus from creativity, if you will.

The cards I observed can be classified by having one of the following characteristics:
• Beer
• Obesity/Fatness
• Golf/Fishing
• Carpentry
• Insults

The card I was most tempted to buy for my dad had a picture of a fat guy holding a fish and on the inside it said, "I saw all those schmultzy cards, but I kept coming back to that one with the fat guy holding the big fish." I liked it because it didn't imply my father was fat, lazy, or an asshole. I liked it because it had nothing to do with Father's Day.

I even saw one card that said, "All those times you had reason to run away... thanks for not leaving, Dad." THAT'S NOT FUNNY. It's sick. I think that the terrorists that we need to neutralize are the idiots that "think" up Father's Day cards. They are the reasons that fathers all around the world can be aggressive, angry, and possibly cause domestic disturbances. If we had funny, fresh, and clever Father's Day cards, the world would no doubt be a better place. Forget cards... Happy Father's Day!

Invisible Ink Works with Computers!

Sorry to my faithful readers. The past couple days I experimented typing with invisible ink. I assume that none of you squeezed lemon juice onto your computers, hence the reason you weren't able to read them.

A lot of tgs have been going on in my mind in the past few days. One is that I've been told that I look like Dave Grohl, Ben Stiller, and Mark Hamill. When I uploaded my picture to myheritage.com, it was informed that I looked like Oprah, Gandhi, Susan Sarandon, Lil Wayne, and Johnny Depp. Though I'm not at all arguing about looking like Johnny Depp, I can't figure out why the service thinks that Oprah and Gandhi look like each other. Oprah : Gandhi as Susan Sarandon hin: Lil Wayne. Aka I don't get it.

Another thing is my new iPhone 3G S. I love the damn thing except for a couple of reasons. One is that it was demoted to an iPod Touch out of the box because it can't be activated to work as a phone. Not only is the little device too timid to call anyone, I must speak with a heavy accent, because the voice recognition can't understand a word I say. I said "Play songs by Testament." First it played a song by Led Zeppelin, then by MIKA, then it said calling wasn't available. I've concluded that my iPhone is a foreigner and therefore not patriotic and therefore possibly a terrorist. But I'm kidding of course!

My Current Get-Rich-Quick Schemes

1. Get a summer job.
However glamorous this option seems, the ultimate outcome seems more grim with each passing day. I would love nothing more to flip burgers at McDonald's or do whatever it is they do at the Container Store all day. The harsh truth is that being a film kid, I'm not qualified to work anywhere.

2. Make a blog
I don't know really how I thought this blog would make me money, but it was a false hope because this blog has wasted only minutes of my time and has yielded me a high slacker raise. Being a slacker, I have my own salary and I love to give myself outrageous bonuses. I gave myself a 300,000% bonus. Unfortunately, when you multiply anything by zero, it remains zero.

3. Selling stuff on Craigslist
This seems like a good idea until some dude forges PayPal emails, threatens you with fake emails from the FBI, and asks you to send stuff to Nigeria. I don't know much about Nigeria, but it sounds like they have a booming economy based on so many items being shipped there recently. Mabye we should just move to Nigeria until this economic crisis ends. I'm sure it's like heaven with taquitos and flip flops there.

4. Make an iPhone application
I realized when coming up with this ingenious idea that I have no programming knowledge and therefore would have no idea how to make an iPhone app. I've had good ideas though. My ideas include "Gaydar," which is a picture application. You upload a picture of someone and the application tells you if the person is gay. Another one is "Gay Genie," which is an application in which you upload a picture, rub the iPhone, and Gay Genie makes the picture FABULOUS! My last idea is to make an action game called "Prop 8: The Game," in which homosexual heroes kick the asses of a bunch of politicians.

5. Hope I make it into the film industry
That's kind of the point of college. Wish me luck.

A Moment to Ponder - Ripped off from the FonzBlog

I'm going to begin by saying that I did not have this epiphany, but rather Greg Fonda did. I remember that Greg said he was going to make a blog a long time ago and I guess I had just forgotten about it. I was curious what he was writing. The only writing of his I've seen is his final project for screenwriting... ZomB ReTak, and it's very true that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they write.

For one thing, he was busy in film school which I felt I seldom ever was. He only had a few entries that spanned several months and he didn't seem to feel neutral whenever writing in his blog. For the most part, he was really excited about film and being on set, there was one that seemed like he was upset about something in Colorado, and lastly there was one about people and simultaneous events occurring. He said when he viewed the Global Citizens Plaza that he was envious of the people involved. He also said that he realized that he wasn't the only one not included. But rather, he was doing something he loved and that people everywhere were doing things they loved at that time.

I, personally, was one of the flag raisers of the Global Citizens Plaza opening. It was mostly a joke for me, considering I was a white guy raising the Chinese flag. I wasn't there for the global acumen that our school was celebrating. Despite the innumerable tycoons and showy nature of the opening, the school created something beautiful.

It's not the opening of the plaza that I'll remember the fountain by. I'll remember the first time I walked past it thinking, "you know, this thing looks awesome." I'll remember dancing in the fountain at Ball Ball. It's not about the ceremony or the official moment something was unveiled. It's about the memories you create there because those are the ones that matter to you and the ones that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

*WARNING* The preceeding was not humorous in nature, but rather was a more mature reflection on emotions and feelings. Sorry if I have offended you.

Flight 94: The Next One

Last night I had a dream that I was at an airport. I decided that I didn't want to have a Tom Hanks "The Terminal" kind of experience, so I managed to accidentally get onto a plane with a bunch of friends. On the plane, the captain told us "This is gonna be the most metal flight ever. Fasten your seat belts... optional!" So of course, I elected to be metal and didn't fasten my seatbelt. Next thing I know, we're about to take off, but the plane keeps just cruising. Eventually we got to Highway 5 (not THE 5, thank you So Cal) and we were going 55 mph, which seemed odd for a plane.

I don't know why we were driving on Highway 5 in a plane, nor why we continued for a few hours, but eventually a tree was protruding over the highway and the left plane wing clipped it and then the left engine exploded and we... crashed...? I guess not a typical plane crash. I had a minor cut on my thumb. That was it. Then I got off the plane and realized I could tell people, "I was in a plane crash, but I'm fine." Thank you for your attention.

Lego Sexxx

I was just thinking about Legos. I loved them as a kid and one of my most joyful days at Chapman was when some friends and I discovered a huge box full of Legos! I spent hours making weird buildings/space shuttles things. I'm very bad at Lego. I don't know quite how that's possible, but I am bad at it. Amidst playing with these Legos I thought that it can't be too much longer until they come out with Lego: Sexxx Edition. Lately, all children's toys seem to be made for the sole purpose of shattering innocence, so why not? The thing about Lego sex is that it would be so opposite of regular sex. With Lego Sexxx, you could insert the penis into the vagina no problem. The only difference is that Legos are FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to pull apart. If they're the same shape and everything, then you can never get them apart. Which leads us to the conclusion that a Lego penis and pussy must be two different shapes so they don't become Siamese lovers attached at the junk. If I made Lego Sexxx, I'd keep it classy. Burlesque House. Just keep a small room for "de-piecing" if you catch my plastic drift. God, I miss Legos.

Foo Fighters Define my Life

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people (or not) and include me. Try not to repeat a song title. It's harder than you think.

Pick Your Artist: Foo Fighters

Are you male or female: Danny Says

Describe yourself: The Pretender

How do you feel about yourself: Monkey Wrench

Describe your current boy/girl situation: Everlong

Describe where you currently live: Home

If you could go anywhere you wanted to go: Long Road to Ruin

Your favorite form of transportation: Overdrive

Your best friend(s) is(are): My Hero

Your favorite color is: The Colour and the Shape

Favorite time of day: Times Like These

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: Cheer Up Boys (Your Makeup is Running)

What is life to you: Come Alive

What is the best advice you have to give: But, Honestly

If you could change your name, what would it be: X-Static

Thought for the Day: Stranger Things Have Happened

How I would like to die: Learn to Fly

My soul's present condition: Best of You

New Outbreak Pandemic: Texingytis

It has been confirmed that a spelling error occurred tonight around 12:30 am by one Ms. Julia Dunlop. Succeeding this grammatical faux-paux were many more spelling errors. Sometimes her corrections of spelling errors were even errors themselves. Her infection has been classified as a "Swine Flu Calibur" illness that is soon to infect the entire human race. If we elect not to fight the virus, we all will soon be terrible spellers.

The only part of the population seemingly immune to this breakout is the Church of the Latter Day Texters. This cult was created by the prophet Alfred the Terrible (also known as AT&T). Some of the members had the following statements to say about Texingytis: "lyk zomg i saw tht n i dyd." "wut dey tlkn bout." It is clear that we all will inevitably have to succumb to omitting vowels from our vocabulary. Thr s nthng w cn d t stp thm!!!

Races Classified by Shapes

I think that the whole races being colors thing is getting really old. I mean to have to say I have a black friend or that I'm a white guy? I mean, I could go along with these shenanigans if at least the rainbow was fulfilled. In all honesty, how bleak are the colors we picked? White, black, brown, yellow, and red. Red's a nice little flavor in the mix, but otherwise we make up a pretty shitty palatte. I think that we have two options. We either be racist against new people and introduce orange, green, blue, and purple people (eaters perhaps...?). Or, we could be racist by shape.

I personally think that would be a more intelligent way to claim superiority and judge others. I think the [previously known as white race] should be a rhombus. We are awkward, we are squares, yet somehow technically a perfect "all sides the same size" shape. How about Africans are triangles, Asians are circles, Latinos are pentagons, Indians are septagons, Egyptians are pyramids, and Native Americans are whatever shape they want. That sentence took so long to write because even though the shapes are completely arbitrary, I still felt completely racist calling an African an octagon. An octagon is no more threatening than a triangle. Or we could all be feminists and think that men are amorphous blobs... whatever works.

A Family of Prostitutes

I wonder has there ever been an unknowing family of prostitutes? Has there ever been a Mr. & Mr.s Smith story, but fucking instead of killing? It actually seems probably that the other spouse wouldn't know if their significant other was a prostitute... or hopefully they didn't marry into "money." But nonetheless, if they had a kid, would they charge one another for the sex? In this family, the woman would definitely make more income than the man, but I think arguably neither would wear the pants in the relationship.

When the kid is born, he'd be lucky that the talk of "what does mommy and daddy do for a living" and "where do babies come from" is coincidentally the same talk. What's the story of the birds and the bees? "Well, sweetie, your father is full of honey and then... he fucked my brains out with his stinger... I'm a bird I guess... I'm delicate... and they got married before having a baby." It would also be awkward if the dad wanted the son to partake in his line of work with a company van reading "Lovincock & Son." It's also a lot of pressure to be good at sex if both of your parents do it professionally. Awkward Catapault!

Did We Solve Global Warming?

I made the realization today that sadly the phrase "bad economy" is a very accurate answer to a lot of questions. "If you give a penny for your thoughts, why is it your two cents?" "Why are there no new video games for summer?" "Why won't girls sleep with me?" "What is rhynoplasty?" You get the idea. We all get the idea. I also realized that what I'm doing for my summer can also be summed up by the sad phrase "bad economy." I realized that this economy may be dire in it's monetary pitfall, but it seems to have miraculously cured several of the world's problems.

One of those problems solved by the bad economy was Swine Flu. Swine Flu was hyped up to be similar to the Plague or whatever shit they have in those godawful Resident Evil movies. Basically, think zombies, death, ew, etc. But as soon as the economy got worse... where the fuck did Swine Flu go?! I personally think that Swine Flu caught Swine Flu and died. End of story. But then I had to wonder what happened to Global Warming.

*ahem* Excuse me. "Global Climate Change." Since this economy took a shotgun and Cobain'd itself, I have not heard one person mention Global Warming. I think it's perhaps that we have all become so cool. Maybe it's that the girls are no longer as hot. No matter what the real solution is, in spite of unemployment and hardship, this economy somehow battled a deadly pandemic and managed save our earth from global boiling. I for one say, thanks bad economy, you sure saved our asses. The economy is apparently a person and he is a douche.

My Senior Thesis About the Pyschological Structure of the Teenage Mind

Yo Spring Break has been wicked crazy awesome. My buddies and I took a little trip down to Cancun and I gotta say, "Hell yeah, fuckin' party!" And there was alcohol everywhere and people were smokin weed and shit and I was at the beach the whole time. I was so schwasty the whole time I swear to God this whole place was so legit. I'm still a drunk but it's totally dank cuz school doesn't start til summer. Ya feel me?

We played century pong. It was 100 cups on each side with beer and shots. It's like a mystery cup, you never know what you're gonna get. I think most of my cups had Absinthe! Yeah boobies! So many boobies and bikinis and girls and they're naked and I don't even have to imagine. Most people were speaking some weird thing. I didn't understand because they were not English people and junk. I got kidnapped and brutally raped.

And some dude brought a keg! I think his name was Kerv or something starting with a L. But you know it's one of those names that sounds so badass 'cause the guy had a wicked beard that could kick your ass. But the chicks were way hot. And they wanted to do me. They TOLD ME SO. And I had sex with so many not alligators because they were wearing tube tops or nothing at all.

Then aliens came and abducted most of us. Party foul! I don't remember it though. I went swimming and there were crabs and fish and shit. They were swimming too. It's like we were making this awesome connection like kindred spirits. I love animals. I love babes more though. So hot.

In conclusion, I had the best Spring Break in the history of anything ever occurring. Anywhere. Period. I would like to apologize to Gina for the 9 month "food baby" I gave her. I would overall rate Cancun a 11/10 on an awesomeness scale for Spring Break location and partying and stuff. Also, Mr. Johnson is the best teacher who ever did live and I really hope he gives me a A for this project. That's my Senior Thesis. I hope you enjoyed it.

Those Things They Do

I just rewatched the movie "That Thing You Do!" because it was on TV and I recognized the Orange circle. And I like the movie and the song. Anyways I watched it, great fun. Then I re-learned the song on guitar. I made the epiphany while learning it that they never say what exactly she does. The Wonders are always so vauge when describing what she is doing. The most depth they get into is "doin' that thing you do." What is she doing? Is she raping people? Is she spontaneously combusting? Is she inventing a new subspecies of firebreathing rhinos? Is she curled up in a dark room drinking Fresca until death? What is it?

I came to realize that almost every song of that era is really vague, like the Beatles' "Love Me Do." "Love, love me do. You know I love you. I'll always be true. So please... Love Me Do." The obviously omitted lyric from the original recording was "You know I love you, despite that there's a huge dragon parading around the square and making a bloody mess out of the festivities. Also, the scissor people of Zeta Centauri are quite upset with the racket we're making. You'll tell us how you really feel about our music, saavy? I'll always be true." Those lyrics were rumored to have been taken out because they seemed too ominous for the idealistic time. All song have been compromised. Censorship is rampant and we must speak out before explexica

What Makes a Name?

So I know what you're thinking. What's so great about this Zander kid and why does he have a blog about himself that sounds awfully similar to--but is not in any way related to--the show "That's So Raven." What's so great about that Zander kid is that his name means that he is a truly prophetic god. I have been asked many times... "What's with the name?" To clarify for all, I used to be called by my slave name "Alex" due to my full named being Alexander Laszlo DeNador. In Hungarian, that would be crudely translated to Chandar Laszlo DeNador. With such an overabundance of the Alex race, I decided to take a more unique route and bear a name that has been reviewed as "Epic" "Sexy" "Oh, like in Buffy, right?" and so forth. You get the idea. The name is unique and awesome. And to clarify for some, Zander is in fact a valid nickname for Alexander. I hope when I tell people my name from now on that they don't aks "Zander's a real name?" You look like an idiot. Of course it's a name; It was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

But of course, let's expedite ourselves past the whole "getting to know eachother" phase and get to the point. My name is awesome. Alexander from Alexander the Great is now translated as "The Saviour of Mankind." Laszlo is a Hungarian name meaning "Gift of God." If you have any language knowledge at all--besides 'murkan--you would know that "De" means "of." Lastly, Nador is a common Hungarian name, but doesn't have a direct translation. Since there is a Nador label beer, I decided to say it means "Beer." Therefore, I am "The Saviour of Mankind, Gift of God of Beer." And without further ado, welcome welcome to That's So Zander... a blog that will probably be read by one person in its existence. Though there is no future in mind... I see great things. Impossible things. Wonderful things. That's so Zander!