ork on a movie set and go by the name of Rocky Shadowcock, but I'm just willing to accept inevitability for a budding film kid. I was born in San Francisco, proudly, and I'm glad to be a person living in this fine nation.'murka, you are a grand piece of land with your marigold waves of grain and mauve mountains majesty, but I think it's very ignorant for people to say "Happy Birthday" to you. Nothing against you, of course, 'murka, but you existed as a land far before July 4, 1776. You were the home of the Native Americans, which is a terrible name for them because they were labeled "natives" of their own country, but referred to by the name we gave it. Although the possibility does exist that July 4 is coincidentally your legitimate birthday, countries are also not birthed, but rather formed.
This then creates the question, how were the continents formed. This question leads into the endless debate about the creation of the world; Creationist theory versus the Big Bang Theory. My personal theory to create a trifecta of knowledge and awesomeness is the Magic Theory. Yes, the world and the universe was created with magic. I think that either way, we can agree that your formation date, 'murka, was one of vast importance and we only wish we could know the day in which to celebrate. The British colonists signing the Declaration of Independence was merely the equivalent of a right of passage such as a Baptism, Losing One's Virginity, or a Bar Mitzvah.
I hereby claim that since July 4th was a holiday based on signing an old document (over 200 years, no less), that we rename the holiday. Since the ideals of American patriotism and big bangs (courtesy of fireworks and other possible endeavors) embody the national holiday, it seems only fitting to rename this landmark day "Michael Bay Day." Happy 4th of July everyone!
No comments:
Post a Comment