Television: As Told by a Film Kid

I realized today in my brand spankin' new class "PRIME TIME: THE GAME OF TELEVISION," that the television industry is raw, half-baked, and very fickle. I was part of a simulation in which I was a producer trying to sell show ideas. In a group of 3, we sold three shows. All three were comedies and the first was a story about a traveling werewolf who accidentally becomes the sheriff of a small southern town called "Hairy Situation." The second show is an Apatow-style bromance comedy, about a guy who takes his friends on a road trip to find his long-lost half brothers and sisters when his dad says being a rock star could yield many siblings, called "Rock N' Road." The last idea sold was, a reality show about handicapped people being put on a building that is lit on fire and the person to escape first wins, called "Handi-CRAP!"

I also realized that what makes its way to television is only a tiny, tiny fraction of the crappy ideas that brew in the minds of TV executives and producers. Such terrible ideas that should never be made include "So You Think You Can Hijack an Airplane," "Project Immigrant RunAway," "Shaving the Cougar," etc. You get the idea. When you are so desperate to form ideas from nothing, you're bound to come up with the most unholy shit that it is truly disgusting.

Although some ideas are truly horrid, it's not saying that such intensive brainstorming doesn't yield decent ideas. I personally still like the ideas of "Oh My God," a comedy about a normal guy who is believed to be the second coming of Jesus, "Nature vs. Nurture," a comedy about giving animals drugs and alcohol with wacky results, and "Regen" a drama about a man who dies and comes back to life each episode with an entirely new perspective in his town as he learns more about himself and his society.

T.V. is fascinating, but it seems that nothing can stop the crap from being aired. Reality TV is easy. Yes, it is. It's a cheap slut with a vagina like an astro jump. People pitching ideas for TV need to focus more on quality than quantity. It's all greed that fuels the bad ideas that never go anywhere and cause brilliant shows like "MacGuyver Makeover" to never be aired. Or we can just say fuck TV, I'm a film major. That works too.