The Room (2003) - A Review

For those of you who aren't fortunate enough to know about Tommy Wiseau's masterpiece film, "The Room," I highly recommend that every person sees said film at least once in their lifetime. A lifetime is a very variable amount of time, similar to a mote being a unit of liquid measurement. Nonetheless, this movie is so incredulous that it surpasses a theatrical movie and becomes a truly wonderful experience.

Cinematography:
Firstly, I have cinematography first because I'm a pretentious film student. To say the cinematography of this film was good is like saying that a Wendy's hamburger won't give you cancer. Todd Barron, the director of photography of this infamous film was actually booed by the audience when his name appeared in the opening credits. It is very seldom that the audience will have to yell out "focus" more than once in a movie. Even once seems a little excessive for a motion picture. Lastly, the phrase "Damn you, Todd Barron," was muttered in disgust many times during the film. I think that the composition of shots showed 3/5 of the people on average and was a fascinating use of mathematics in modern filmmaking. In addition, the long pans showed technical prowess of the camera operator.

Acting:
Most of the acting in the movie was acceptable, but it was the shining performance of the gun-wielding character "Chris-R" that truly lit up the silver screen. His brief performance has become a cult favorite. With so few words including "Where," "Fuck," "Denny," "Fucking," and "Money," Chris-R actor Dan Janjigian captured a passionate, ferocious, and misunderstood inner-city character who wants nothing more than for justice of his missing money to be administered. It is ignorant to say that the acting in the movie was poor, because it is impossible to compare to the acting genius of Janjigian.

Overall Experience:
Priceless. Well, not entirely. It cost $7 to get in and I assume the plastic spoons that people threw had to set them back a few dollars, not to mention the extra meal necessary for consumption due to being awake until 6 am. And the gas and parking expenses also increase the overall expense. But other than that, it was mocking the movie, throwing spoons, and laughing hysterically that made this a very worthwhile experience that anyone who loves or hates movies would thoroughly enjoy.

You Know You're a College Student When... #2

You know you're a college student when you're living room consists of 2 acoustic guitars, 1 electric bass, 1 electronic drum set, 2 acoustic drums, 3 couches, and a coffee table made out of two boxes and a piece of plastic.

You Know You're a College Student When... #1

You know you're a college student when you say you're going to make Ramen because you crave chicken.

Television: As Told by a Film Kid

I realized today in my brand spankin' new class "PRIME TIME: THE GAME OF TELEVISION," that the television industry is raw, half-baked, and very fickle. I was part of a simulation in which I was a producer trying to sell show ideas. In a group of 3, we sold three shows. All three were comedies and the first was a story about a traveling werewolf who accidentally becomes the sheriff of a small southern town called "Hairy Situation." The second show is an Apatow-style bromance comedy, about a guy who takes his friends on a road trip to find his long-lost half brothers and sisters when his dad says being a rock star could yield many siblings, called "Rock N' Road." The last idea sold was, a reality show about handicapped people being put on a building that is lit on fire and the person to escape first wins, called "Handi-CRAP!"

I also realized that what makes its way to television is only a tiny, tiny fraction of the crappy ideas that brew in the minds of TV executives and producers. Such terrible ideas that should never be made include "So You Think You Can Hijack an Airplane," "Project Immigrant RunAway," "Shaving the Cougar," etc. You get the idea. When you are so desperate to form ideas from nothing, you're bound to come up with the most unholy shit that it is truly disgusting.

Although some ideas are truly horrid, it's not saying that such intensive brainstorming doesn't yield decent ideas. I personally still like the ideas of "Oh My God," a comedy about a normal guy who is believed to be the second coming of Jesus, "Nature vs. Nurture," a comedy about giving animals drugs and alcohol with wacky results, and "Regen" a drama about a man who dies and comes back to life each episode with an entirely new perspective in his town as he learns more about himself and his society.

T.V. is fascinating, but it seems that nothing can stop the crap from being aired. Reality TV is easy. Yes, it is. It's a cheap slut with a vagina like an astro jump. People pitching ideas for TV need to focus more on quality than quantity. It's all greed that fuels the bad ideas that never go anywhere and cause brilliant shows like "MacGuyver Makeover" to never be aired. Or we can just say fuck TV, I'm a film major. That works too.